The One Where Chandler has a Fling
by shopgirl152
Summary: When Monica falls ill, Joey offers to accompany Chandler to a work function. Neither does the other know that this one night just might change the rest of their lives. Joey/Chandler
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: Inspired by the songs "Meaningless Kiss" and "Dance with Me Tonight" from the Music & Lyrics soundtrack. Also, I do not own the rights to Friends or the movie "Music and Lyrics" or the songs "Meaningless Kiss" and "Dance with Me Tonight; I'm merely using the lyrics for effect.

* * *

"Monica, honey? You ready to go? The charity function starts in an hour." Chandler ran into the bedroom, finding Monica hunched over the bed, fumbling for her shoes. "You ready to go yet?" Monica nodded, pulling the shoe on, collapsing into a coughing fit. "Or cough up a lung?"

"I'm…cough…fine honey. Just…let me get my other shoe." She leaned down, looking around, then sat up. "Ungh. My head hurts." She got up off the bed, walking toward Chandler. "I think I have a lump on my head. Do I have a lump on my head?"

"I dunno, let's see." Chandler felt all over Monica's head, feeling for a lump. "No, you're lump free. Unless something decided to bury itself into your skull."

Monica scowled. "Are you sure there's no lump? I feel like my head's going to explode." She leaned over, grabbing the shoe off the floor. "OWWW!" She clasped her hand to her head, falling back onto the bed. "Chandler, sweetie, I don't think I can go tonight; I have one massive headache. It's making me feel nauseous."

"No! No! You can't have a headache now! Monica, I have tons of clients from my work coming to this charity event and I have to be there!"

"So go." Monica bent over, slipping the dress off her head. "Go stag. Go and have a good time. Meet people." She slipped a pajama top over her head, wincing. "Just…don't bring any girls home, or you can kiss these good-bye." She pointed to her breasts.

"Aw yes, the breasts; how I would miss them." Monica smirked as she climbed into bed. "But…no! Monica, I have to go!"

"Chandler, I told you…go to the stupid function."

"By myself?"

Monica rolled her eyes. "No, with the other woman you're sleeping with."

"Really? There's another woman? Where?" Chandler looked around, then turned back to Monica, smirking. "I have to have a date; I'll look ridiculous."

"Take Rachel then."

"She's back with Ross."

"Again? Didn't they break up last week?"

"Long story."

"Well… take Phoebe then."

"Can't. She has a date too."

"Well darn it Chandler! Find somebody! Or…get me an aspirin! Do something!"

"Moni—"

"Hey guys! Just grabbing a sandwich; my refrigerator's out of food again. I don't know why that keeps happening, but it does."

Chandler poked his head out the bedroom door, finding Joey digging around their fridge. "It's called grocery shopping Joe; you might try it sometime. You know, grab a basket, fill it with food, forget to eat it…"

"Hey man, I just came over to get food; keep your opinions to yourself."

Chandler rolled his eyes, turning back to Monica. He stopped, noticing the smirk on her face. "What?"

"You could go with…Joey."

"Joey? You want me to go with Joey? Yeah, that'll look normal; hi, I'm Chandler, everything thinks I'm gay, but I'm not. By the way, here's my date Joey."

Monica laughed. "You have such a man crush on him"

"A man crush? On Joey? Oh no no no no. I do not have a man crush on Joey!"

"Chandler, please, you have such a man crush on him; when you were roommates, you acted like an old married couple."

" I do not have a man crush!"

Monica waved her hand. "Fine. You don't have a man crush on Joey. I'm going to bed."

Chandler whined. "But Monic—"

"Chandler, grow up already! Either go by yourself, ask Joey, or…or…go down to the red light district and nab a prostitute! I don't care! My head hurts!"

"But—"

"Good night!"

"Fine! I'll get a date myself!" Chandler scowled, walking out of the room. "I don't have a man crush on Joey. Stupid charity function."

"Hey man, what's all the commotion?" Joey walked over, beer in one hand, sandwich in the other.

"Oh, it's just that I have this charity function thing for work. Monica and I were going to go, but now she's sick and…I don't have a date."

"Well…take me! I can be your date!"

Chandler raised an eyebrow. "You?"

"Why not? I'm handsome, I'm funny and hey, girls always think gay guys are cute."

"Uh, Joe? You're not gay."

Joey smirked. "But for you baby, I can be."

"Okay, please stop."

"Okay." Joey downed the rest of his beer, tossing it in the trash. "Hey, this is gonna be fun! I'll be right back!" He wiped his mouth on his shirt sleeve, disappearing out the door.

Chandler paced back and forth, thinking. _Joey's going to be my date. Joey's going to be my date_. He grinned. "Oh my god! Stop smiling!"


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Chandler, you ready to go?" Joey walked in, clad in a tuxedo, complete with a black bowtie and red cummerbund. He turned around. "So, how do I look?"

Chandler grinned. "Wow, you look amaz—I mean, you look good Joe. You actually managed to fit into the tuxedo this time."

"Yeah, isn't it great? I had the tailor take it out."

"Ah yes, such an incentive for losing weight."

"Very funny Chandler." Joey peered at his friend. "Hey man, you alright?"

"Yeah…why?"

"I dunno; you're acting all weird and stuff."

"I am not acting weird. I'm fine. Perfectly fine."

Joey nodded, smirking. "Ah, I get it; you're afraid I'm gonna look hotter than you; now don't worry, I'll save a few ladies for you." He smiled.

"Yeah, thanks Joe. That means _so_ much." Chandler looked at his watch. "Oh my god! We need to go! The cab's gonna be here any second!"

"Relax man; I took care of it."

"Oh no. Joe, please don't tell me you slipped the cabbie another _one dollar bill_."

"Psht, no." Joey smiled, obviously pleased with himself. "I slipped him a five!"

Chandler smacked his forehead, grabbing his jacket off the back of the couch. "Come on, we better go before he realizes you're a poor tipper."

* * *

"Oh man! Look at this place!" Joey's eyes went wide upon walking into the grand ballroom of the Hyatt Regency Hotel.

"Appetizers?" A waitress walked by, carrying a platter filled with deviled eggs.

"Mmm. Don't mind if I do!" Joey snatched three eggs off the platter, popping them into his mouth. He chewed, then grinned at the waitress through a mouthful of egg. "How you doin?" The waitress made a face. "What?"

"You'll have to excuse my partn—I mean, friend here. He has bad manners!" Chandler walked up, slapping Joey on the arm. "Bad date!"

The waitress cocked an eyebrow. "Oh. You guys are an item?"

Chandler blushed. "No. No no no, we are not an item! We're just friends, I mean…we—"

The waitress smirked. "Uh-huh. Sure." She turned to Joey. "Nice meeting you." She turned back to Chandler, pointing behind her at Joey. "Good luck with that one."

"Aw dude! Look what you made me do! I just lost my chance with her!" Joey looked after the waitress longingly.

Chandler clapped his friend on the back. "Hate to tell you this Joe, but…you never had a chance."

"Aw man!"

Chandler smiled. "Come on, our seats are over here." He led Joey to a nearby table, waiting while he paused to look at a table.

"Hey Chandler, look! It's another silent auction! You know, like the one ay Rachel's charity thing." He grabbed a slip of paper, writing something down.

"Uh, Joe? Whaddya doing?"

"Oh. See, last time I did one of these, I was really close to guessing the right number. I want to see if I can do it again!"

"Last time, you came home with a boat, remember?"

"Yeah, I know! Ooo…maybe I'll get a sandwich shop this time!"

"Will you be able to pay for it?"

Joey's face fell. "No." He looked at Chandler sadly. "Alright, no auction. But I was going to win!"

Chandler tried to hide the smile creeping across his face. "I'm sure you were Joe; now come on, sit down." He pulled a seat out, motioning for Joey to sit down.

Joey cocked an eyebrow. "Uh, Chandler? You do realize that looks a little…oh I don't know, _weird_?"

Chandler looked down at the chair he had pulled out, looking back at Joey in horror. "Oh my god!" He jerked his hand away from the chair. "Uh…uh…never mind. Just…go sit down. I'll be over here." He walked around the table, sitting across from Joey. _I'll be over here dying of embarrassment_.

Joey sat down, smirking. "Dude, you need a woman."

Chandler blinked. "I _have_ a woman. You know, Monica? The one I sleep with? The one I'm _engaged_ to?"

"Oh yeah!"

Chandler rolled his eyes as a plate of food was set down in front of him. "Your dinner sir. Duck a la orange."

"Duck a la what?!" Joey looked at his plate in horror. "Chandler, you are not making me eat this! What would Chick and Duck say?!"

"They'd probably say go ahead and eat it; it's not us."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Joey grinned, digging his fork into the piece of meat in front of him. "Well, if you say so…" he grabbed a forkful, chewing thoughtfully. "Wow, this is really good!"

Chandler smiled softly. "Told you." He carefully cut up a piece of his own meat, popping it into his mouth. He chewed and swallowed. "Wow, that really is good!" He looked at Joey. "Oh, Joe, don't stuff yourself to full, this is a full course meal."


	3. Chapter 3

"Ohhh, I'm soo full!" Joey leaned back in his seat, unbuttoning the top button on his pants. "Man, I don't think I've ever eaten so much food! First the duck, then the pheasant, then…what were those little pink thingies?"

"Shrimp?"

"Yeah! That's it!"

Chandler smiled, surprised at how much he was enjoying himself. He took another shrimp, dipping it in the cocktail sauce on his plate. He popped it into his mouth, then groaned. "Okay, I think I've just hit my limit. Ohhh…"

"Dude, don't throw up all over the table! That's bad manners."

Chandler looked at him. "Yes Joe, thanks for that little tidbit of information, because I had every intention of puking on the carpet!" He unbuttoned the top button on his own pants, leaning back in the chair. "Okay, much better."

Joey smiled, turning his head towards the dance floor as a gray haired, balding man stepped up to a podium. He tapped the microphone.

"Good evening everyone. I am Mr. Hofflinger, president of this company. I'd just like to extend a big thank you to everyone who showed up tonight for our "Save the Whales" charity event. You've been a great support. And now, I'd like to recognize the man who came up with this wonderful idea, Chandler Bing!"

Chandler blinked as a spotlight shone on his face. He put his hand up, standing up to address the crowd of onlookers. "Well, first of all, like Mr. Hofflinger said, thank you all for coming to this wonderful event. I'm sure the whales are very grateful. Good thing there weren't any whales here tonight, huh?" He was met with silence. "Okay. Hi, I'm Chandler Bing; I say stupid things when I'm nervous. Back to you Bert." Chandler sat back down, head in his hands.

"Dude, tough break," said Joey sympathetically.

"No kidding Joe; did you see me out there? I killed them."

Joey turned, watching as Bert spoke. "Well…thank you for that lovely sentiment Chandler. Now that the meal is over, I'd like to invite you all to join us for our dancing portion of the evening. Now, without further ado…on to the dancing!" Joey watched as the dance floor filled with people, each one kicking up their heels in a jitterbug number.

"Aw, come on Chandler, your joke wasn't that bad…I mean, psht, I liked it!"

"Gee, thanks for the support Joe." He sighed. "I'm nothing but a loser."

"Hey, don't talk like that. You are not a loser, alright?" Joey reached his hand out, putting it on top of Chandler's.

Chandler looked at the hand, surprised that Joey was showing such affection and compassion toward him instead of his usual, loveable goofiness. He smiled, giving Joey's hand a squeeze. "Thanks Joey."

"Hey, it's what I'm here for. That and to uh…pick up girls. Of course." He snatched his hand away, looking across the dance floor as another song came on.

_It's been so long, since I've known right from wrong,  
__Got no job, sometime I just sit down and sob,  
__Wondering, if anything will go right,  
__Oh will you dance with me tonight?_

Chandler sighed. "Sing it piano man."

"Chandler…"

_I'm looking at you, you're looking at me,  
__We're the only two off the dance floor,  
__Do you see what I see?  
__Two broken hearts, working in harmony,  
__Might make for a decent time,  
__So get up and dance with me…_

Joey ran a hand through his hair, looking at Chandler. "Uh…Chandler?"

Chandler snapped his head up. "What?"

"Um…this may sound a little weird, but…um…do you wanna dance?" He looked away. "I mean, if you don't want to, that's perfectly fine, but…"

Chandler grinned. "I'd like that."

"Really?!" Joey's voice went up in an excited squeak; he cleared his throat. "I mean…really?"

Chandler flashed a bright smile, taking Joey's hand, allowing himself to be led to the dance floor.


	4. Chapter 4

Joey stopped in the middle of the dance floor; placing one hand in Chandler's other hand, placing the other hand around Chandler's waist. Chandler did the same, the whole thing feeling oddly natural.

"So…it is a good thing there were no whales here tonight. I mean…psht…they would have been ticked to find out we were eating shrimp."

Chandler cocked an eyebrow. "Shrimp aren't whales Joe."

"I know, but…hey! Maybe they had shrimp for friends or something!"

"Whales _eat_ shrimp." Chandler chuckled. "They would have had a buffet."

"Yeah…" Joey looked away, avoiding Chandler's piercing gaze as another song came on.

_Just a meaningless kiss, it wasn't supposed to end up like this,  
__Just a meaningless kiss, uh-oh-oh-oh  
__Just a meaningless kiss, we knew it was wrong but we couldn't resist…_

Joey swallowed, turning to face Chandler. The look in Chandler's eyes startled him. "Uh…Chandler? Are you alright?"

Chandler sighed. "Have your eyes always been this brown?"

"Uh…every since I was a baby. I mean…oh. You're…not just talking about the eyes, are you?" He laughed nervously. "What are you trying to do Chandler, turn me on?"

Chandler started. "Oh! Uh…I mean…stupid music!"

…_To late to turn back now,  
__we gotta finish what we shouldn't have started,  
__We got to walk away somehow.  
__But it's easier said than done,  
__When two hearts beat as one…"_

Joey and Chandler looked at each other as the music washed over them. "Two hearts…" Chandler started.

"Beat as one…" Joey finished, finally able to look Chandler in the eyes. "Wow. Man, your eyes are really blue!"

"Kinda killin the moment here Joe." He smirked. "You gonna kiss me or what?"

"What?! I…Chandler…I mean…" Before he could think further, he found himself lost in Chandler's eyes. Without thinking, he drew Chandler toward him, his lips lightly brushing his.

Chandler breathed in the surprisingly tender kiss, his eyes closed. He kissed back, enjoying the feel of Joey's lips on his own. This was what he had dreamed about, and now…it was finally happening. He opened his eyes, finding Joey smiling gently at him.

"Hi." Joey sounded breathless.

"Hi. Joey, that…that was amazing. How did…how did you learn to kiss like that?"

Joey smiled. "Hey, I've had practice." Chandler dug in his back pocket, producing a key. "Uh…Chandler? What's that?"

Chandler spoke quickly. "It's the key to the hotel room Monica and I were going to spend the night in. I was thinking…maybe we should…uh…"

Joey put his hands up, backing away. "Whoa, slow down there big boy! Hey, I enjoyed that kiss as much as you did, but let's think a minute here. You're engaged to Monica. Soon she'll be your wife. If we…uh…you know… then…" He stopped, a look of horror on his face. "Oh my god! No more kitchen privileges! Chandler, this is a bad idea!"

"Joey please. Just one night, this one night. We'll have a fling and then, we'll never talk about it again. I'll marry Monica…and…Joey, please."

Chandler, I—" But he was stopped short, as Chandler grabbed him, pulling him close, giving him a long, slow, deep kiss.

Joey's eyes popped open. He pulled away, grinning. "Let's do this!" He grabbed Chandler by the hand, leaving the rest of the song playing behind them.

_And three hearts are one to many,  
__That's why we shouldn't have ever begun._


	5. Chapter 5

Chandler lay in the dark hotel room, his head on Joey's chest. He breathed a happy sigh. "Wow. That was amazing."

"Pretty good huh?" Joey smiled warmly, planting a kiss on the top of Chandler's head. "Who knew it could be just as pleasurable with guys?"

"And I gotta say…kudos on the uh…well…you know."

"Hey, thanks man!"

Chandler smiled, snuggling up to Joey. "It's been a good night."

"Yeah. Hey, what time is it?"

Chandler rolled over, sleepily looking at the clock on the nightstand. "Four a.m." He closed his eyes, breathing in Joey's scent. He was almost asleep when a realization hit him. His eyes popped open. "Four a.m!? Oh my god!"

"Dude, what's wrong?"

"Monica!"

"Moni—oh my god!" Joey jumped out of bed, grabbing his pants from the floor, a look of horror on his face. "Chandler, we just had a fling! We just had a gay fling! Oh my god!" He threw his shirt on. "Oh my god! What—what happened out there?!"

"I-I dunno. It's…it's like it was a dream…"

"Did it really happen?"

Chandler looked at the clothes scattered on the floor, then looked at him and Joey, standing on opposite sides of the bed. He looked down. "Oh yeah, I'd say it really happened alright." He looked at Joey, blushing fiercely. "Let's agree to never talk about this again."

"Agreed!"

Chandler hurriedly put his clothes back on, looking at Joey. "Okay, so…I'm gonna go home now. Talk to Monica…kiss her…hold her…you know…all that fiancée...stuff"

"Well…good. See you across the hall then."

"See ya!" With that, Chandler raced out of the room, running to his car.

* * *

Chandler walked in the door, setting his bags down on the floor. "Honey, I'm home!"

"Aww, there you are!" Monica ran out of the bedroom, wrapping Chandler in a tight hug. "I missed you!" She kissed him hello on the lips; he breathed a quiet sigh of relief, happy her kiss still made him feel something. "So…how was the charity function last night? Did Joey behave himself?" She smirked.

"Joey behaved very well. There was a mild freak out with the duck a la orange, but other than that…things were good." He looked down, feeling himself blush.

"Oh my god! You slept with him, didn't you?!" CHANDLER!" Monica whacked him on the arm.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! No we did no—"he stopped, meeting a very stern glare from Monica. He hung his head. "Yes, we slept together." He looked up… she was pissed. "Look Mon…sweetie. It was a one time thing. I'm not even sure how it happened." He paused. "Actually, I know _how_ it happened, I'm just not sure _why_…stupid music!"

"What?!"

"It was the music…I…I'm gonna go talk to Joey."

"You better!"

Chandler rushed out the door before Monica could throw something at him. He closed the door behind him…finding Joey stepping out of his apartment. "Hey Joe…can we talk?"

"Dude, I just saw you this morning."

"I know…jus—come here!" He opened the door to Joey's apartment, hauling him inside. "Look, I don't know what happened last night, I don't know why, but I just want to say…I'm sorry. I'm sorry for putting you in that position and making you feel awkward. I just…got caught up in the moment…the music. I mean, you're my best friend and I would never want to take advantage of you or hurt you. I love Monica. I still do and I always will. So…I'm sorry Joe."

Joey brushed the comment away. "Hey, I'm just as guilty; I got sucked in too. I gotta tell you though…that music? Pretty powerful stuff."

"Yeah."

"But, I get it Chandler. You love Monica; I love her too. I want you two to be happy." He smirked. "Guess we both got caught up in the moment huh?"

"Yeah, I guess we did. Still friends?"

"Of course! Come here you!" Joey grabbed Chandler, wrapping him in a hug. The two men jumped apart immediately. "Uh…maybe we shouldn't hug for awhile."

"Yeah. We hug to much anyway." Chandler smiled. "See you at Central Perk tomorrow?"

"Yeah." Joey held the door open.

"Oh, and Joey?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's never tell the others, okay?"

"Oh definitely. Phoebe would never let me hear the end of it."

"Ross would rib more for years." _It's bad enough I kissed a guy in a dark bar in college. _"Well, until tomorrow Joe." Chandler shut the door, walking back across the hall, ducking as he opened the door. "Monica? Mon?"

"In here Chandler."

Chandler walked into the bedroom, finding the lights dim, candles everywhere, Monica lying on the bed in a negligee. "Wh-what's this?" He put one foot cautiously in the door. "Is this a trap?"

Monica chuckled. "No silly." She got up from the bed, wrapping her arms around Chandler's neck. She kissed him sweetly on the lips. "This is to remind you of why we're getting married."

"Wow. I should have slept with Joey sooner."

"Chandler!" She smacked him on the shoulder.

"Okay, ow."

"Aw, I'm sorry." She smiled, gently taking his hands in hers, leading him to the bed. She gently pushed Chandler down onto the bed, lying on top of him.

He grinned. "Ah yes. This is better than Joey sex any day."

"For all the trouble I went through, it better be." She started kissing Chandler deeply, then stopped. "Uh, Chandler?"

"Yeah."

"Before we go any further, let me just say this. If you ever sleep with another man again, I'll cut off your manhood, okay?"

"Love you too sweetie."

* * *

**A/N**: Sorry to disappoint the Joey/Chandler fans out there; I love the Monica/Chandler pairing way to much to have Chandler permantely leave Monica for Joey.


End file.
